Last weekend my unusually smart, witty, and
cute niece, Kennedy, came over. It was right after I’d gotten off and I hadn’t
done my grocery shopping. My son wasn’t home, which meant, if I was going to
grab us something, I would have to take her. The old
me, you know the one who used to leave her five-year-old son at home alone all
the time, would have left her here and quickly ran across the street to Fiesta.
But the older, more mature me who now realizes I should have never done that to
my son, got dressed and made her come. As we walked down the dark alley, she
quickly grabbed my hand. This caught me totally off guard for two reasons. One,
because I’m not used to hand holding. I’ve been celibate for 15 years and two,
she was 11. At first, I thought she was ‘too big’ to be holding my hand. But
then I had to check myself and so should you.
You see, in that moment, I had to realize
that my niece had been raised right.
In that, she’d never experienced what it was like to be outside, after
dark, in
the hood. My heart ached as I thought of all the preteens who couldn't
say the same. As we walked onto the main street, her grasp got even
tighter, to
which, I once again had to resist the temptation to pull away. Why?
Because if
you were raised in an ‘urban area’, then any sign of timidity or
greenness will
be preyed upon. We’ve been programmed to show no affection and need for
protection;
even if it is your child. But whether you were raised in the hood or
suburbia, I
can’t tell you how many times I’ve walked down the street or been in the
store
and watched as three or four-year-old’s frantically walk alongside their
parent.
The guardian doesn’t do it intentionally. We just assume that the child
is old enough to walk without assistance. And though they are, they may
still need our protection.
My niece is my height, so it wasn’t that
she couldn’t walk alongside me. She just didn’t feel comfortable enough to do so.
As I kept walking, I realized that her holding my arm was her way of saying she
wasn’t ready. I saw that though she was physically able to walk alone, she wasn't mentally. To which, I had to let my toughness go, oversee her greenness and
protect her innocence. My deceased father taught me to always look a man in his eye. But
now was not the time to pass down a lesson from her grandfather. I had to ensure she stayed green
– naïve to how to handle herself on the streets, at night. And though she needs
to learn, now was not the time. What she needed to know, was that as her Aunt,
I would protect her. Which is why I’m saying
to you, let’s protect the innocence of our youth. Yes, they need the real and
yes, we have to teach them. But can they enjoy their childhood a little longer?
Do I wish that my mother didn’t leave me at home at six with my two-month baby
brother while she went to work? Absolutely. Maybe I wouldn’t have been as grown
as she said I was. But I was only being what she forced me to be.
Parents, not force our youth to become adults too soon. They have the rest of their lives to be grown. Let’s let our children be
children. Ponytails, toys, and all. There will be a time when we have to keep
it 100. But for now, let’s just enjoy them at 11! S/O to Jennifer and Lois.
Great job!
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